Mom friends, who can relate? Where are YOU on this journey?
WARNING: It's a long one [mostly personal, so PLEASE stay with me! A little travel snuck in at the end.
"The days are long, but the years are short." - Gretchen Rubin
No matter how many times I hear that quote, it still catches in my throat. The adrenalin spikes, and the tears well up when I think that I could have one more day or I could have 40 more years with my family. I think of the dreams that I had as an energetic and hopeful high school student with the world at my feet, and I think fondly about the contrasting reality that has unfolded along my journey to a half-century.
I take it all in, sans that youthful energy, and wonder how - or more like WHEN - it all escaped me. How the years flew by, and how I failed to keep a journal of all of those precious day-to-day moments with my children that I miss so desperately. Many details are sadly forgotten, but wasn't it just yesterday that I had 4 kids under 10 years old, and I was wearing 3 day-old sleep clothes with spit-up crusted on the shoulder, smelling slightly like a dumpster? Me. Not the spit-up.
In 2024, I am the mom of four boys: a semi-real adult, a college student, a high school junior, and a 7th grader. I have mom clout. If that's not a thing, it should be, and you heard it here first. I survived with my sanity, gained an "experienced mom perspective" and quite a few extra pounds.
I miss those days a lot.
That is, until, I hear a little one throwing a tantrum in public. You betcha, I can feel the mom's face burning and her stomach flip-flopping. I summon an invisibility cloak - something, anything - to save her from the judgmental stares of onlookers whose eyes say, "My child would never..." My summons does not work, and for a moment, I am mentally somewhere in 2006 right there beside her, mortified and sweaty.
I try to make a funny face at the child to distract them or give the mom a sympathetic smile. If I wouldn't get arrested, I'd scoop the child up and try to calm them in some way, just to give mom a break. And I want to tell her, "The days are long, but the years are short." She may want to slap me or cry on my shoulder. Or both. And I would let her.
Because I know exactly how it goes.
And I want to tell her in that overwhelming moment, "Don't lose yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup." All of the annoying cliche things we are told, yet they are sad and inevitable truths. Too often, we find ourselves juggling multiple roles - as wives, mothers, partners, and professionals. In all the time we spend dancing between raindrops of perceived parenting fails and the glorious sunshine of a-ha moments, snuggles, and giggles, life happens. We completely and utterly forget about ourselves as autonomous humans. We often forego our hobbies and passions for work, diapers, dinners, play dates, and PTOs.
Sound familiar?
Yes, we chose to have children and the joys and struggles that follow, but if we are intentional - let's not forget to mention the importance of a reliable support system - we can successfully maintain some sense of self while embracing the chaos and staving off the isolation that often comes with being a mom. Commit yourself to some version of self-care. Please. And I'm not just talking about taking a shower or changing your clothes! (Here is an article on self-care for moms who have little to no support.)
AND FEEL ZERO GUILT ABOUT IT.
I am sitting in my living room, 22 years after becoming a mom, and I can fully appreciate what a freaking bittersweet victory it all is. Getting to watch my children morph into four seriously super cool humans has been the best thing ever in the entire universe. I wouldn't change a thing. But there is ONE thing I wish I would have made more time for, whether I was by myself or with my family.
It's pretty simple. That ONE thing I wish I made more time for is TRAVEL! Back in the day, I wish I had traveled more with my husband pre-kids. Knowing now how much it costs to raise a family, let alone explore the world with them in tow, I was flat-out stupid!
Pre-kid travel was a seriously missed opportunity.
The only grown-up vacation I had ever taken was our honeymoon at that point. I cried when we landed in Mexico in 1999. It was my first time on a plane, and I just couldn't believe it was finally happening to me. It never occurred to me to plan and save for a big annual trip even though it was something I dreamed about doing. I just assumed it was too much. I gave up on my dream without really even trying.
Don't get me wrong. We have taken several family vacations, and they have been great, but I do wish we had prioritized saving money for the SPECIFIC purpose of big TRAVEL. I wanted nothing more than to expose our kids to life outside of our comfort zone, to soak in world cultures for purposes of appreciation, personal growth, self-discovery, and connecting with the world we live in.
Thankfully, it's never too late to start!
So, a [really, really] long story short, ladies, if traveling is something you are passionate about but you stopped or never got to start because life happened, it is time to get your passport in order!
Traveling as a family of six is pretty cost-prohibitive for us. One of the bonuses of having older kids is more Me Time, and I plan on spending time doing what I love. My incredible 50th Birthday transatlantic cruise has inspired me to start a Facebook group called Me Time Departures. Solo travel for women is a rapidly growing trend. Me Time Departures is specifically for women who are open to small-group travel opportunities. If any of the following are YOU, then you need ME. And I am here to tell you that, yes, YOU are still in there - somewhere - under all of what life has thrown at you. And you have earned your big dreams:
Your travel dreams have been back-burnered for too long due to this thing called life.
Your life partner has no desire to travel, but your suitcase is already packed.
You're single and have no one to travel with.
Maybe you WANT to travel solo but like the security of having a group to fall back on.
A few of your friends want to go on a trip, but no one wants to plan it.
You're part of a special interest club and would love to experience something special related to that interest.
You can't afford to take your whole family, but you can swing it for one.
You just simply need some time away to explore something new, touch base with who you are, and return home refreshed.
You get the idea, right?
This is a place to get information for Travel With Me trips, have your say on where you'd like our next destination to be, and get ideas for your custom group trips which I would love to help you with. If you've ever tried to coordinate a group trip... whew! It is A LOT. I do all of the work, and you get to enjoy it! Simple.
Travel With Me trips will be adventures that I will be personally hosting. While I still have kids in school, I am planning on doing two per year: one in the spring and one in the fall, but the destination's seasonality will ultimately determine when the trip is scheduled. These are LADIES ONLY trips unless otherwise specified. They will be 7-10 days, with possible optional extensions. I mean, you're already there. Why not stay longer? I am aiming for November 2024 for my first Travel With Me trip.
They will not be your typical beach vacation. I tend to keep a pretty go-go-go schedule when I am traveling; however, time to relax and explore on your own will be built into it, and some of the activities will be optional. We will move about the countries we visit absorbing and respecting local culture, and participating in immersive experiences while hitting all the must-sees in the destination.
So, who is with me? Request to join the group here. It's BRAND NEW, so don't expect much right now. It will start to fill out once plans get rolling, so hang tight! Check out the pinned post and vote your choice for the November 2024 inaugural trip!
Take the trip. Fall in love.
Brooke
TRUTH! You are SO. ON. POINT. My hubby will be jealous - he wants to travel as much as I do - but he'll get over it. 😎